Is It Normal to Love Him and Resent Him at the Same Time?
Yes. It's normal. You can love him completely and still feel a hot, tired resentment toward him in the very same hour, sometimes in the very same breath. One doesn't erase the other, and it doesn't mean your love is fake or your patience is running out on someone who deserves better.
Most people expect love to feel clean. One clear emotion, sitting by itself. Nobody warns you that loving someone with an addiction comes with a second feeling riding along, uninvited, that looks a lot like anger and doesn't leave when you ask it to.
Where the resentment actually comes from
It rarely comes from the love itself. It comes from the caretaking, from all the small, repeated things you've had to do that he didn't do for himself. The calls you made. The nights you stayed up. The version of the evening you planned around him without either of you saying so out loud.
Love doesn't get tired the way a body gets tired. But the doing does. You can resent the doing, the checking, the covering, the constant low hum of managing someone else's crisis, without that meaning you resent him as a person, or that you've stopped loving who he is underneath all of it.
A small example, so it's less abstract
'I resent covering for you at your sister's dinner' is a true, specific sentence about one exhausting task. It is not the same sentence as 'I don't love you.' You can hold the first one and the second one never has to be true at all.
Try it with something from your own week. Not 'I resent him' in general, that's too big to be useful. Something exact: I resent making the excuse to his mother. I resent being the one who checked if he ate. Naming the specific thing shrinks the resentment down to a size you can actually look at, instead of a fog that colors everything.
What the resentment is actually telling you
Resentment is information, not a verdict. It's your own limit, showing up on a schedule you didn't choose, telling you that something you've been carrying is heavier than you've let yourself admit. It isn't proof that you're a bad partner, a bad wife, a bad person for feeling it. It's closer to a bruise telling you where you got hit.
You don't have to solve the resentment today, or figure out what it means for your marriage, or decide anything big because of it. You just get to notice it without flinching away from what it means about you.
Resentment isn't proof you've stopped loving him. It's proof you've been carrying more than one person should.
You don't have to resolve the contradiction today
Love and resentment can sit in the same chest, unresolved, for a long time. That's not a failure of feeling. It's just what it looks like to love someone whose crisis has become part of your daily life, whether you agreed to that or not.
For today, the only step is this: the next time you feel that hot flash of resentment, don't push it away and don't let it swallow the love whole either. Just let both be true for a minute. Maybe write down the one specific thing that triggered it, in your own hand, so it's out of your chest and onto paper where you can look at it later with a little more room to breathe.